Phil: Well, my co-blogger has said it all, and a bit more besides. I'm sure his second place trophy will have pride of place in his trophy cabinet. I wonder if, had he been for a Kimi beforehand, the weight advantage might have gained him an extra tenth?
In truth however, I must admit I was actually only seventh, not fifth, my main achievement of the afternoon being not breaking anyone's ribs.
Once again, not a great deal of news from the world of 'real' motor racing, except to note that the officially postponed Bahrain grand prix is unlikely to be run this year (leaving Melbourne as the season opener), Heidfeld has been confirmed to replace Kubica at Renault, and Liuzzi has been linked to the last remaining seat, at Hispania.
On a final note, today I was given a belated Christmas present from my aunt and uncle. It's a DVD of the 'top ten' F1 drivers of all time (for the record, Ascari, Fangio, Moss, Clark, Stewart, Lauda, Prost, Senna, Mansell and Schumacher). Rachel took one look at it and said, 'I'm not sure Mansell would be in my top ten'.
That's why I'm marrying her.
Monday, 28 February 2011
Not bad for a number 2 driver..
Justin: We usually cover Formula 1 on this blog, but this past weekend I attended my esteemed colleague's stag celebrations. There was Karting involved and with it controversy, intrigue, anger, speed, collisions, backmarkers and Gavin (Winston) getting bumped from pillar to post because he was just too damn slow (again). At least this time his ribs escaped punishment.
We arrived at the Karting venue to be met by nobody. I might add at this point that I have a severe axe to grind against this so called karting establishment in Edmonton. All will be revealed in due course. Taxi's arranged by the venue to pick us up from the train station were late and rude and seemingly angry with us because we weren't aware what the second taxi looked like...we were just supposed to know apparently. Anyway....we arrived at the venue and spent 5 minutes mincing around reception on our own wandering around and wondering what the hell was going on. A woman with far too much energy came and greeted us and invited us to put names or nicknames down on a sheet. We weren't aware until after our names had been inked in that the positions we'd written in would directly relate to our car numbers.
So, we had myself as Mark Webber driving car number 2 (which he will be this coming season). We had my colleague in car number 5. Just call him Phil "Our Nige, Red 5" Smith. Gavin was in car number 1....an easy way for me to despise him on track as he was Sebastian Vettel!
The briefing and safety video was laughable. This involved such crucial information as "the track is one way only, please remember". They also told us to not to bump each other....erm...yeah ok!!! Everyone has to bump Gavin at least once I thought??
We assembled downstairs to look at the track and prepare for qualifying. 15 minutes to set the fastest lap and grab pole on the grid.
Finding an open space to pelt the kart around a 25 second lap with 9 cars on track is difficult to say the least. Or at least I found it difficult. I noticed straight away that there were two potential adversaries out there for me. He who called himself "diddy" and a chap called Chris. Anyway, qualifying over we headed to trackside to check out the grid. I had placed 3rd, 0.83 of a second from pole and around half a second ahead of 4th, which was Mr Smith, followed by Gavin in 5th.
We all saw this on the tv screen.
So, I was 3rd on the grid, not ideal but it was ok as I knew who my targets were for the race. Namely Chris and Diddy....and keep Phil behind me off the start (yes I know it was his stag do but I let nobody drive past me whilst karting!).
We received a print out of all our quali laps and placings....and this is where it starts to go wrong for me personally. We compared fastest laps and I was indeed 3rd fastest in quali, hence 3rd on the grid. However, the placings from first to ninth did not look correct, but I don't think anyone thought much of it at the time as we'd all seen who was where anyway.
So, we watch the stupidly young (what was he, 10??) marshall lining up our cars in the pits and the first alarm bells should have gone off for me. Car number 2 was at the back of one of the lines. Again I thought little of it until I actually got onto the grid where I found myself in 8th spot just behind Phil and Gavin.
The red mist descended instantly. I was absolutely fucking furious and seething. I ripped my visor up and remonstrated with the marshall who had just directed me to my position. I was shouting "I am supposed to be bloody 3rd on the grid, I'm 0.83 seconds behind first for christs sake, I saw it, we all saw it on the TV display". He checked with the control room via radio. "yeah, number 2 thinks he is 3rd on the grid". I didnt hear the reply through my seething anger at seeing my hard earned 3rd go to bollocks. He waived his hands in a dismissive manner and said "sorry the computer says you're 8th". I slammed my hands onto the wheel and thought "right then, fuck this lot and fuck this place, I'm furious and am going to drive over everyone and win!!!". I really didnt care at the point if I caused a first corner pile up...I just thought....I'm having this!!!
Phil "Our Nige, Red 5" could see all this and could tell from the body language that it wasn't good. He too was wondering why I was at the back of the grid. I hadnt been that naughty as to incur a penalty after all.
Even now looking back I still can't begin to describe how truly angry I was.
The lights went out and I floored it. I went from 8th to 5th by the end of the first lap, managing to avoid leaving a trail of chaos behind me.
By the end of lap 3 I was 3rd. More than once I found myself flying around corners flat out yelling "do I look like I'm fucking 8th fastest?" at any of the marshalls I thought would actually hear me....it's funny how the red mist destroys all reason and common sense within one. At one point I actually shook my fist at the guy who I got angry with on the grid, hurling abuse at him that he had no chance of hearing. Did I care? It drove me on and made me feel good.
There was a bit of a gap to Chris and Diddy, but I caught them via a slow yellow flag and managed a better restart than they did. By the end of lap 4 I was 2nd, at which point a titanic battle with diddy ensued. I managed to overtake him on a yellow flag restart on lap 11. Between laps 4 to 11 I must say Chris made my life absolute hell trying to overtake me. We carved through any backmarkers together. I had the guy chasing me for 12 laps to the end....arrgghh!! It's not easy focussing on the guy behind whilst trying to overtake someone ahead! At various points we were alongside each other, he dropped back a bit, then caught me up near the end of the race. I'd spent around 3 laps stuck behind Winston trying to lap him....where the hell were the blue flags eh?? This bunched Chris into diddy and diddy into myself....a queue of traffic behind Winston.
At the hairpin Gavin went wide, I was alongside him, he turned in, I carried on into the corner and we collided. Diddy went by me on a yellow flag as he wasnt involved. I then set out to get him again, but as I trailed in behind him to complete the lap the chequered flag was raised.
Bollocks to that I thought. If I hadn't of bumped into Gavin I'd have probably won the race.
I was on a major adrenaline rush after the race and couldnt stop going on about my grid travesty. I even walked into the control room to confront whichever Jabroni cost me my placing. They didnt have an explanation for me, so to this day I still feel annoyed about it.
I've just worked out what happened actually. The karting place seemed to treat quali like an actual race. I slowed down a lot and was thusly two laps down on the guy who did the most laps. Hence I was 8th.
WHAT KIND OF KARTING PLACE BASES QUALIFYING ON A RACE BASIS AS OPPOSED TO A FLYING LAP/QUICKEST LAP BASIS?!!!!
I shall be writing to tell them a) they smegged up and b) they suck.
I've been told by Winston that most other racers worked out the cock up after the race...but they daren't tell me....either that or they didnt care. Bah!
Still, Mr Smith pointed out I probably wouldnt have driven as I had done if I'd started 3rd. The man has a point. I drove with a point to prove, a chip on my shoulder and an angry devil may care aggression.
Elsewhere Phil came in a solid 5th whilst Gavin complained about being scared and being bumped 6 times. He said he was going to stop at one point. Thats the issue....if you get scared, thats it, you are done for before you have even started.
I very nearly lost it a few times....once I was going full throttle around a corner onto the start/finish straight and literally bounced into the tyres and carried on.
8th to 2nd (including leading for the last half of the race).....not bad for a number 2.
We arrived at the Karting venue to be met by nobody. I might add at this point that I have a severe axe to grind against this so called karting establishment in Edmonton. All will be revealed in due course. Taxi's arranged by the venue to pick us up from the train station were late and rude and seemingly angry with us because we weren't aware what the second taxi looked like...we were just supposed to know apparently. Anyway....we arrived at the venue and spent 5 minutes mincing around reception on our own wandering around and wondering what the hell was going on. A woman with far too much energy came and greeted us and invited us to put names or nicknames down on a sheet. We weren't aware until after our names had been inked in that the positions we'd written in would directly relate to our car numbers.
So, we had myself as Mark Webber driving car number 2 (which he will be this coming season). We had my colleague in car number 5. Just call him Phil "Our Nige, Red 5" Smith. Gavin was in car number 1....an easy way for me to despise him on track as he was Sebastian Vettel!
The briefing and safety video was laughable. This involved such crucial information as "the track is one way only, please remember". They also told us to not to bump each other....erm...yeah ok!!! Everyone has to bump Gavin at least once I thought??
We assembled downstairs to look at the track and prepare for qualifying. 15 minutes to set the fastest lap and grab pole on the grid.
Finding an open space to pelt the kart around a 25 second lap with 9 cars on track is difficult to say the least. Or at least I found it difficult. I noticed straight away that there were two potential adversaries out there for me. He who called himself "diddy" and a chap called Chris. Anyway, qualifying over we headed to trackside to check out the grid. I had placed 3rd, 0.83 of a second from pole and around half a second ahead of 4th, which was Mr Smith, followed by Gavin in 5th.
We all saw this on the tv screen.
So, I was 3rd on the grid, not ideal but it was ok as I knew who my targets were for the race. Namely Chris and Diddy....and keep Phil behind me off the start (yes I know it was his stag do but I let nobody drive past me whilst karting!).
We received a print out of all our quali laps and placings....and this is where it starts to go wrong for me personally. We compared fastest laps and I was indeed 3rd fastest in quali, hence 3rd on the grid. However, the placings from first to ninth did not look correct, but I don't think anyone thought much of it at the time as we'd all seen who was where anyway.
So, we watch the stupidly young (what was he, 10??) marshall lining up our cars in the pits and the first alarm bells should have gone off for me. Car number 2 was at the back of one of the lines. Again I thought little of it until I actually got onto the grid where I found myself in 8th spot just behind Phil and Gavin.
The red mist descended instantly. I was absolutely fucking furious and seething. I ripped my visor up and remonstrated with the marshall who had just directed me to my position. I was shouting "I am supposed to be bloody 3rd on the grid, I'm 0.83 seconds behind first for christs sake, I saw it, we all saw it on the TV display". He checked with the control room via radio. "yeah, number 2 thinks he is 3rd on the grid". I didnt hear the reply through my seething anger at seeing my hard earned 3rd go to bollocks. He waived his hands in a dismissive manner and said "sorry the computer says you're 8th". I slammed my hands onto the wheel and thought "right then, fuck this lot and fuck this place, I'm furious and am going to drive over everyone and win!!!". I really didnt care at the point if I caused a first corner pile up...I just thought....I'm having this!!!
Phil "Our Nige, Red 5" could see all this and could tell from the body language that it wasn't good. He too was wondering why I was at the back of the grid. I hadnt been that naughty as to incur a penalty after all.
Even now looking back I still can't begin to describe how truly angry I was.
The lights went out and I floored it. I went from 8th to 5th by the end of the first lap, managing to avoid leaving a trail of chaos behind me.
By the end of lap 3 I was 3rd. More than once I found myself flying around corners flat out yelling "do I look like I'm fucking 8th fastest?" at any of the marshalls I thought would actually hear me....it's funny how the red mist destroys all reason and common sense within one. At one point I actually shook my fist at the guy who I got angry with on the grid, hurling abuse at him that he had no chance of hearing. Did I care? It drove me on and made me feel good.
There was a bit of a gap to Chris and Diddy, but I caught them via a slow yellow flag and managed a better restart than they did. By the end of lap 4 I was 2nd, at which point a titanic battle with diddy ensued. I managed to overtake him on a yellow flag restart on lap 11. Between laps 4 to 11 I must say Chris made my life absolute hell trying to overtake me. We carved through any backmarkers together. I had the guy chasing me for 12 laps to the end....arrgghh!! It's not easy focussing on the guy behind whilst trying to overtake someone ahead! At various points we were alongside each other, he dropped back a bit, then caught me up near the end of the race. I'd spent around 3 laps stuck behind Winston trying to lap him....where the hell were the blue flags eh?? This bunched Chris into diddy and diddy into myself....a queue of traffic behind Winston.
At the hairpin Gavin went wide, I was alongside him, he turned in, I carried on into the corner and we collided. Diddy went by me on a yellow flag as he wasnt involved. I then set out to get him again, but as I trailed in behind him to complete the lap the chequered flag was raised.
Bollocks to that I thought. If I hadn't of bumped into Gavin I'd have probably won the race.
I was on a major adrenaline rush after the race and couldnt stop going on about my grid travesty. I even walked into the control room to confront whichever Jabroni cost me my placing. They didnt have an explanation for me, so to this day I still feel annoyed about it.
I've just worked out what happened actually. The karting place seemed to treat quali like an actual race. I slowed down a lot and was thusly two laps down on the guy who did the most laps. Hence I was 8th.
WHAT KIND OF KARTING PLACE BASES QUALIFYING ON A RACE BASIS AS OPPOSED TO A FLYING LAP/QUICKEST LAP BASIS?!!!!
I shall be writing to tell them a) they smegged up and b) they suck.
I've been told by Winston that most other racers worked out the cock up after the race...but they daren't tell me....either that or they didnt care. Bah!
Still, Mr Smith pointed out I probably wouldnt have driven as I had done if I'd started 3rd. The man has a point. I drove with a point to prove, a chip on my shoulder and an angry devil may care aggression.
Elsewhere Phil came in a solid 5th whilst Gavin complained about being scared and being bumped 6 times. He said he was going to stop at one point. Thats the issue....if you get scared, thats it, you are done for before you have even started.
I very nearly lost it a few times....once I was going full throttle around a corner onto the start/finish straight and literally bounced into the tyres and carried on.
8th to 2nd (including leading for the last half of the race).....not bad for a number 2.
Tuesday, 15 February 2011
Orgy of statistics!
Justin: My co-blogger and I had a "I Was Having A Blog" live phone chat last night. It was the usual....ring each other to see how life is treating us, catch up etc...that takes all of 1 minute then the conversation tends to drift directly to Formula One for the next hour. Last night's F1 chat lasted around half an hour....probably because there isn't too much F1 news to chat about....so our chat got onto statistics...and...wow....we had a mind blowing semi quiz/ semi historical tour of F1 winners, youngest winners, youngest champions etc....always a pleasure my friend.
My co-blogger will hopefully be blogging some fun stats later today.
I stand corrected on the two Lotus Renault teams....apparently Team Lotus are using Renault engines....my co-blogger found this on Wikipedia...this season will be a tad confusing me thinks!
We talked of Kubica's injury too. This isn't like his last massive accident which just involved broken bones and he was back after two races. This will take months to recover from, as his hand is vital in racing. Only when he gets back in a car will he know how much pressure the hand can take gripping a wheel at 200mph whilst fiddling with other buttons and taking a few G's at the same time.
Oh yes....I forgot to say....Senna....in a black and gold Lotus? Come on Renault...Lotus Renault....give him a go please!!!!!
My co-blogger will hopefully be blogging some fun stats later today.
I stand corrected on the two Lotus Renault teams....apparently Team Lotus are using Renault engines....my co-blogger found this on Wikipedia...this season will be a tad confusing me thinks!
We talked of Kubica's injury too. This isn't like his last massive accident which just involved broken bones and he was back after two races. This will take months to recover from, as his hand is vital in racing. Only when he gets back in a car will he know how much pressure the hand can take gripping a wheel at 200mph whilst fiddling with other buttons and taking a few G's at the same time.
Oh yes....I forgot to say....Senna....in a black and gold Lotus? Come on Renault...Lotus Renault....give him a go please!!!!!
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Lotus Renault x 2?
Justin: My colleague is back....and so is Kimi...somewhere...apparently....anyway....that over with, it's time to get back to business.
Over the 3 days of testing Vettel, Alonso and Kubica posted the fastest times each day. Kubica went fastest of all. The new Lotus Renault has the exhausts at the side of the car, a radical design which may see this team quite competitive......unfortunately they won't be that much up front because they have lost their star driver for possibly the whole season.
Kubica's life is not in danger, but he has serious injuries after crashing in a rally over the weekend. He has several fractures in his arm, shoulder, hand and leg as well as partially severing his right hand. Surgery has gone well and he can apparently move his fingers and the hand is warm (always a good start!), but I'd imagine the recovery will take months.
We could see the Senna name back on the grid as a result of this!
On the subject of Lotus, I thought it was Lotus Renault and Team Lotus....as Team Lotus dont have Renault engines do they??
Anyway...our best wishes to Robert for a quick recovery.
Over the 3 days of testing Vettel, Alonso and Kubica posted the fastest times each day. Kubica went fastest of all. The new Lotus Renault has the exhausts at the side of the car, a radical design which may see this team quite competitive......unfortunately they won't be that much up front because they have lost their star driver for possibly the whole season.
Kubica's life is not in danger, but he has serious injuries after crashing in a rally over the weekend. He has several fractures in his arm, shoulder, hand and leg as well as partially severing his right hand. Surgery has gone well and he can apparently move his fingers and the hand is warm (always a good start!), but I'd imagine the recovery will take months.
We could see the Senna name back on the grid as a result of this!
On the subject of Lotus, I thought it was Lotus Renault and Team Lotus....as Team Lotus dont have Renault engines do they??
Anyway...our best wishes to Robert for a quick recovery.
Friday, 4 February 2011
Back
Phil: First of all, sincerest apologies for complete absence of blogs for my part for the last two months. I've been very busy at work and have had a wedding to help organise. As my co-blogger rightly pointed out, I'm fortunate the wedding thing is mainly outside 'the season'.
Anyway, my co-blogger has been doing a sterling job of counting down the days to the new season, although I knew it was time to blog when I dreamt the night before last that the season had started and I'd missed it. Fortunately I realised it was but a dream when I noticed Raikkonen was back (driving a Sauber). As if a half decent team like Sauber would have him back.
All that remains for me to do, I think, is for me to recap the musical seats that normally take place about this time of year. This year there are actually less drivers moving teams than most.
1. Raikkonen is definitely not back.
2. Ferrari, McLaren, Red Bull, Mercedes, Renault, Lotus and Toro Rosso have the same blokes as last year. Furthermore, Barrichello, Sutil, Kobayashi and Glock are staying where they are.
3. Lotus now have Renault engines, and will henceforth be known as Lotus-Renault.
4. Renault now have a sponsorship deal with Lotus, and will henceforth be known as Lotus-Renault.
5. As my co-blogger has perceptively observed, this means there will be two teams called Lotus-Renault. To avoid confusion I will be sticking to their old names. To create confusion for humorous purposes I will be sticking to their old names, but the other way round. Said confusion has arisen because since Colin Chapman's death, and perhaps before, Lotus the F1 team and Lotus the car manufacturer have been entirely separate entities, both with a claim on the Lotus name and heritage. Predictably, both teams have been trying to reinforce their Lotusness and claim to Lotus heritage, by bringing Johnny Herbert out of retirement to drive round very slowly at the back of the field for 15 laps before retiring.
6. Williams have replaced Nico Hulkenberg with last year's Formula 2 champion Pastor Maldonado, from Venezuela, who brings much-needed sponsorship millions and also hopefully some talent. Regrettably, Hulkenberg, who impressed everyone with a pole position in his first season last year, hasn't found a race seat for 2011 and will be testing for Force India. Hopefully we'll see him back on the grid soon.
7. Sauber have replaced Nick Heidfeld with last year's Formula 2 runner up Sergo Perez, from Mexico, who brings much-needed sponsorship millions and also hopefully some talent. Is a pattern emerging?
8. Force India have replaced Tonio Liuzzi with Paul di Resta. He's from Scotland so probably won't be bringing any sponsorship millions.
9. Virgin have replaced Lucas di Grassi with Jerome d'Ambrosio from Belgium. They don't need sponsorship millions so long as Richard Branson doesn't get bored with F1. Might I humbly suggest that the home of F1 banter will keep him entertained, even if the championship is wrapped up by August?
10. Almost unbelievably, Narain Karthikeyan is back (the first Indian F1 driver, drove a season for Jordan in 2005) driving for Hispania. I'm almost certain some sponsorship millions are changing hands, probably linked to the first Indian Grand Prix this year. Actually, Hispania would probably take him for sponsorship thousands.
11. There will be an Indian Grand Prix this year, bringing the number of rounds to a record 20.
12. Everyone will be on Pirelli rubber this year, Bridgestone having decided they don't want to come if Honda and Toyota aren't coming.
13. This leaves by my calculations, only one spare race seat left. Unfortunately it's at Hispania, so we probably won't know who's in it until about two races before the end of the season. If they last that long.
That's about all the updates you need, apart from - did I mention? - Raikkonen is back. Don't ask him where he's been, or we may have to post that video again.
Anyway, my co-blogger has been doing a sterling job of counting down the days to the new season, although I knew it was time to blog when I dreamt the night before last that the season had started and I'd missed it. Fortunately I realised it was but a dream when I noticed Raikkonen was back (driving a Sauber). As if a half decent team like Sauber would have him back.
All that remains for me to do, I think, is for me to recap the musical seats that normally take place about this time of year. This year there are actually less drivers moving teams than most.
1. Raikkonen is definitely not back.
2. Ferrari, McLaren, Red Bull, Mercedes, Renault, Lotus and Toro Rosso have the same blokes as last year. Furthermore, Barrichello, Sutil, Kobayashi and Glock are staying where they are.
3. Lotus now have Renault engines, and will henceforth be known as Lotus-Renault.
4. Renault now have a sponsorship deal with Lotus, and will henceforth be known as Lotus-Renault.
5. As my co-blogger has perceptively observed, this means there will be two teams called Lotus-Renault. To avoid confusion I will be sticking to their old names. To create confusion for humorous purposes I will be sticking to their old names, but the other way round. Said confusion has arisen because since Colin Chapman's death, and perhaps before, Lotus the F1 team and Lotus the car manufacturer have been entirely separate entities, both with a claim on the Lotus name and heritage. Predictably, both teams have been trying to reinforce their Lotusness and claim to Lotus heritage, by bringing Johnny Herbert out of retirement to drive round very slowly at the back of the field for 15 laps before retiring.
6. Williams have replaced Nico Hulkenberg with last year's Formula 2 champion Pastor Maldonado, from Venezuela, who brings much-needed sponsorship millions and also hopefully some talent. Regrettably, Hulkenberg, who impressed everyone with a pole position in his first season last year, hasn't found a race seat for 2011 and will be testing for Force India. Hopefully we'll see him back on the grid soon.
7. Sauber have replaced Nick Heidfeld with last year's Formula 2 runner up Sergo Perez, from Mexico, who brings much-needed sponsorship millions and also hopefully some talent. Is a pattern emerging?
8. Force India have replaced Tonio Liuzzi with Paul di Resta. He's from Scotland so probably won't be bringing any sponsorship millions.
9. Virgin have replaced Lucas di Grassi with Jerome d'Ambrosio from Belgium. They don't need sponsorship millions so long as Richard Branson doesn't get bored with F1. Might I humbly suggest that the home of F1 banter will keep him entertained, even if the championship is wrapped up by August?
10. Almost unbelievably, Narain Karthikeyan is back (the first Indian F1 driver, drove a season for Jordan in 2005) driving for Hispania. I'm almost certain some sponsorship millions are changing hands, probably linked to the first Indian Grand Prix this year. Actually, Hispania would probably take him for sponsorship thousands.
11. There will be an Indian Grand Prix this year, bringing the number of rounds to a record 20.
12. Everyone will be on Pirelli rubber this year, Bridgestone having decided they don't want to come if Honda and Toyota aren't coming.
13. This leaves by my calculations, only one spare race seat left. Unfortunately it's at Hispania, so we probably won't know who's in it until about two races before the end of the season. If they last that long.
That's about all the updates you need, apart from - did I mention? - Raikkonen is back. Don't ask him where he's been, or we may have to post that video again.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
37 Days to go!!!!
Justin: But it's 0 days til the first official testing session of the year! The teams are in Valencia as I write. I will blog over the next few days reporting back on times etc.
Elsewhere, the new Ayrton Senna film has won awards apparently. I saw a trailer some time ago and cannot wait to see it.
Not much else going on right now really, aside from the non existent blogging of my esteemed colleague :-).
Oh, and it should be noted that a group of 8 of us are going karting for my colleagues stag do. This serves as a warning to all who want to win. I will win. That is all.
Elsewhere, the new Ayrton Senna film has won awards apparently. I saw a trailer some time ago and cannot wait to see it.
Not much else going on right now really, aside from the non existent blogging of my esteemed colleague :-).
Oh, and it should be noted that a group of 8 of us are going karting for my colleagues stag do. This serves as a warning to all who want to win. I will win. That is all.
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